Social Media is great. We see “most” of our favorite people doing amazing things and looking fabulous. We see cute babies that are smiling, we see people going out on dates with their husbands, we see happy families gathered together, we see fashionable outfits, or pictures of someone crushing a workout. And these images put a smile on your face. And we are all guilty of the social norm of just posting the good in our lives. But there are days when none of this is true in our existence. There are days when the house is a disaster, your baby won’t stop crying, your marriage is hanging on by a thread and you wonder if divorce would be better than this cohabitation, you haven’t spoken to your brother because of a fight about who does what in regards to taking care of your ill mother, you haven’t changed out of your yoga pants in 3 days, you can’t remember the last time you worked out and scowl at the image of someone doing it saying “must be nice” as you wipe the spit up off your shoulder. We have been there more times than we want to admit. Life is hard. Being a parent is hard. Marriage is hard. Working out is hard. Finding balance is hard. We juggle everyday. We are constantly trying to tear down the rising walls of mom guilt to get through our day because we just saw some other mom do it better… EVERY. DAMN. DAY.
Listen to us. No one is perfect. We are all a work in progress. But don’t give up. You will be in that dream outfit, you will go on a date with your husband, you will take that perfect family photo, your baby does smile. And when you feel the walls crashing in, call a mom friend. They know the feeling. Tell them the truth, unless its your judgy friend, don’t tell that biatch anything. My mom said something to me yesterday and it was so on point, “you may think you are close with someone, but you don’t know everything they are going through.” She’s right (again). We don’t know everything that goes on in each other’s lives. We certainly wouldn’t know it by following each other’s social media accounts. I broke down and told my friend some of things that were tormenting me and she told me hers. And we let each other feel bad for ourselves for a hot minute and then it was over. Then we built each other back up. And then she hit me with this”…we can rewrite our own narrative.” How true is that? Hell to the yea!
The truth is, there will be always be times in our lives when we are just uncomfortable, about something, someone, some place. We will want to literally crawl out of our skin in order not to feel that way anymore. And worst of all we will feel like we are failing our children. WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE. And if you haven’t, you’re a liar. I’m kidding, good for you Susan, we are all happy for you. But seriously, pick up the phone and call someone, don’t be in that space alone for too long. You’re allowed a hot minute and then it’s time to move forward. Build each other up, tell each other it’s ok, tell each other this too shall pass, tell each other that you will hold their hand, and if no one told you today…YOU ARE A GOOD MOM!
Photo by Marcella Shook
-Christa Wilson, The Monmouth Moms